I have to admit that the story of Jesus going to visit the two sisters, Martha and Mary is one of my favorite passages of Scripture. There are many reasons for this. For example, I am sure that many of us, if not all of us, can readily identify with the encounter as it unfolds. It is such an ordinary, homey event. After all, what could be more natural or human than going to visit a friend or family member. Then there is a domestic tension that becomes something of a spat between the two sisters: Mary seems to sit around, while Martha is doing all the work. Martha even turns to Jesus and complains (or is it nags?)… “tell her to help me.” Incidentally, we are not told anything about their brother Lazarus at that stage: perhaps he wisely kept out of things! Whatever the case, Jesus uses this whole mini domestic drama (a familiar drama that must have been repeated in history billions of times) to teach and to encourage.

Look at the dynamic again. Martha (remember, she is the one doing all the serving and the work) is not wrong: far from it. Today, if we had a visitor, especially an important one, who would not offer some refreshments and hospitality…? In fact, in the time and culture of Jesus (as is still the case in the Middle East and many other parts of the world), not to offer such a welcome to a traveler or a visitor would be unthinkable. It would go against all social customs and would be considered a gross insult.

So, why does Jesus seem to chide Martha; at least just a little? (As Jesus speaks to her, I imagine him smiling lovingly at Martha and also gently shaking his head…again, just a little!). Martha seems to be a natural worrier: worried about so many things and now her latest worry is to make Jesus welcome. She also seems to have a bit of a short fuse, as she complains about her sister: but then, worry does have a habit of shortening fuses very effectively. The same is true when we get overwhelmed with activity.

Martha, we are told is “burdened” by all her work in being hospitable. In fact, the phrase in the Gospel literally says that she was “pulled about” by all her work. That certainly can sound familiar. Jesus gently tells Martha that, in the end, only one thing really matters. Perhaps our Lord is reminding her (and us, of course) to keep things in perspective and balance. Again, worry or too much activity have a nasty habit of blowing so many things way out of proportion and numbing our ability to focus, or even of disabling our better judgment.

Perhaps too, Martha’s mistake is to think that she knows what Jesus wants: food and drink after his journey. However, Jesus really wants to visit with her and to be, we might say, spiritual food for her and to quench her spiritual thirst. Have you ever been in that situation when you have gone to visit someone just to see them; yet they have rushed off into the kitchen to fix some refreshments for you? Meanwhile, you are shouting from the family room trying to have a conversation with them. Your host is being kind and hospitable, but you have come to see them rather than to have something to eat or to drink. They think that know what you want, but this is not really the case.

Mary chose the better part (literally the “good” portion: good as in the sense of something intrinsically good or as a solid foundation) because she sits at Jesus’ feet and listens to him. Jesus can visit with her and she can visit with him. It is not right to say that Mary chose the only good thing and that Martha was wrong, or chose a bad portion. No, Mary chose the better part because she listens and is still and focused first. Then, and only then, she is equipped and ready to spring into action: to be like her sister Martha. Prayer first, then action, or, better still, prayer leads us and guides us to action. This then might be the best lesson of all from our Gospel. It is also a timely one. Hopefully, the summer is a time when we can be a bit more like Mary and relearn the need to pause, to listen and to reflect in the Lord’s good company, before we act and get busy.

So, we need to be like Mary as well as Martha. Martha was so busy with things that perhaps she did not have time to listen to Jesus or to discover what he really wanted of her, whereas Mary sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to him. So often, we too need to slow down and listen to the Lord, to sit at his feet for a while, even if it is just for five minutes a day. Well, we may feel that we are too busy to pray, but is worth remembering what Saint Teresa of Kolkata often said: “if I am really busy then I need to pray twice as hard and long.” A final word about parish and church meetings and, also, whenever we act for the Order. Hopefully, we have a real Mary moment or two before diving into the Martha mode. Let us make sure that prayer is not just the thing to get out of the way before we begin the real business of a meeting, or when going into pastoral action mode…! After all, we might have got it the wrong way around if we put aside Him, who is the Lord of all things for the sake of the things of the Lord.

Very Rev. Msgr. Anthony M. Barratt, STL, PhD, EV, ChM